So, as most of you know, I don't really post much on LJ, because my life isn't terribly exciting and in all honesty, most everyone on my friends list and I don't talk a whole lot anymore (sad!).

In any case, if you feel like being a real pal, go check out my new site and pimp to people who like dark, distasteful humor. snarkophagus is contributing as well, so we're getting our rant on in style.

http://www.half-cocked.net

The idea here is that we snag news stories that piss us off and go on a tear about them, so you'll want to click through the "more" link on each entry to get the actual full content. :)

Just one. You'll all crack up. Trust me.

( I'm a little douchebag, short and stout... )

Target Security Guard to Target Electronics Security Guard: Dude, what is up with people stealing software from Target? Why can’t they steal it from the internet like normal people?


I find this extremely awesome.

I'm in the market for some sort of SLR camera. I know at least a couple of you are photo-geeks.. anybody have an old film camera they might be wanting to part with? Ideally, Canon, Nikon or Minolta, couple lenses, maybe flash, etc.

Looking for somewhere under $200. Yeah, I know this is a bit of a long shot, but hey, why not. :)

It's time to sell more crap!

( Modded PSP fat, 8 games, 1 movie, bonus goodies, $250 )

Actual shipping costs, obviously. :)

So, I know a bunch of you used to play... anyone still log in for good old fashioned monster bashing? :)

BEER! So... who's coming over? :)

Hokay, so I have a bunch of stuff I wanna get rid of. I'm willing to box it up and ship (for actual shipping costs) plus some cash.

Y'all should buy things from me so I have closet space again. :>

I'll probably eBay anything that doesn't go within a couple weeks, so you have a bit of time.

Item 1: 5G, 30GB iPod Video plus shoddy leather case and an AC adaptor. Will throw in a set of Shure E2C headphones if you want. They need some minor repair (a wire is exposed, but they still work perfectly), but are otherwise good. $125+shipping for LJ folks.

Item 2: A Samsung DVD-HD860 Upconverting DVD player, comes with a remote. Whee. $30+shipping for LJ folks.

Item 3: 300 HD-DVD disc, new, unopened - $15+shipping.

( Item 4 behind here, since it's a touch longer )

I can't decide if I want one, or if I'd be absolutely terrified of a glow-in-the-dark Sam trying to eat my goatee at night.

http://www.physorg.com/news116662903.html

...until their batteries run out because you forget to charge them.

The MouseKeys functionality in Windows kinda sucks, I tell you. :)

Two years later, I finally got new ink. The elemental thing sort of hit me as a "duh" moment when I got the kanji tattoo in the first place. Last night (well, Saturday night), I went and got some lovely art done by Matt Kolling of Twilight Tattoo.

( Pics cut to avoid flist breakage. )

If Chuck Norris were elected President, written by Chuck Norris:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/staticarticles/article56107.html

...by which I mean several inhabitants of this lovely little rock,

I am certainly happy that you were able to save three seconds off your day at my expense. However, in the future, the correct procedure for pulling into a parking space that someone is pulling out of, especially in a crowded gas station, is to wait your fucking turn. The fact that I stopped means that I have an automatic transmission and was changing gears, asshat.

Secondly, when you are in a turn lane, YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING TURNING. You should not be going straight through the intersection, causing me to WTF at you and nearly rear end the person in front of me due to the sheer WTF of it. Fortunately, we just had our brakes done, so I didn't squish.

Sorry I almost rear-ended you.

And finally, I realize that nobody likes working late. However, when you deal in auto work, having your last appointment of the day being at 5PM for an estimate is somewhat asinine for those of us who are fortunate enough to be gainfully employed.

Looks pretty on my phone.

Sadly, I wasn't smart enough to store all my phone numbers on my SIM card, so they went poofles.

If you want me to have your contact info, please comment here. All comments screened for your pleasure. :)

Listen, you're from Minneapolis, so tone it down a bit. Unless you're this poor guy:

http://wcco.com/topstories/local_story_088224059.html

Okay, so this particular sewer line doesn't interact with the drinking water lines, but seriously... *cringe* YUCK.

A Minneapolis city worker is worried about blood in the sewer system because he said, while he was cleaning the system, blood sprayed out of a hole and got all over him.

[snippage, read the full story]

The sanitary sewer system is the appropriate place for this type of liquid wastes. There are other companies that have permits to discharge blood in the sewer system.

According to the Met Council, there are about four slaughterhouses, about 20 hospitals, and about a dozen medical and pharmaceutical companies that have permits.